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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27841618">in the warmth of home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas'>fiveyaaas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>under mistletoe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Add a little chocolate ganache to that bitch and you’re in for a treat, Baking, Because I did, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Five and Vanya trying to dunk on Reg’s ‘parenting’, Fluff, Gingerbread Houses, Married Couple, My favorite of her recipes is the mini cheesecakes, Pregnancy, They try to learn how to bake, aghhhhh, also if you’re wanting to explore sallysbakingaddiction, and have many thoughts on this topic, and i actually love sallysbakingaddiction, by that i mean, however, nobody wants to read about your life bruh, pls don’t ask me if i actually googled gingerbread house recipes, she has wonderful recipes, sorry i’m emotional i bake a lot this time of year, theflavorblender.com commentary IS accurate, we want your recipe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:06:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27841618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you implying that you’d learn how to bake to ease my mind about motherhood?” </p><p>“Well, yeah. I mean, how awful could it possibly turn out?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>under mistletoe [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2036878</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Harcest Ficmas 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>in the warmth of home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This might actually be a rant about baking websites in disguise of a fiveya fic, you decide. <br/>Also, I know I don’t like writing preg-🤢pregnancy🤮 most of the time, but this series is fluffy and you can’t convince me that fiveya wouldn’t have a straight up litter of children. (Plus, all the discussions I’ve had with JjdoggieS and Chevalier_Barthelemy about benfiveya as parents has warmed my heart.......... and the benfiveya fics I’m writing for fic-mas are primarily.... not fluff, so I had to make do.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Vanya rested her hands against her stomach, still small and lacking a bump. “Do you think it’s normal that I’m this small at this point?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five glanced up from the book he was reading, frowning. “Yeah, not showing at this point is normal. You’re only six weeks along, and, I mean, you found out last week.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sighed, trying to feel the baby but getting no luck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You realize at this point their heart has </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>started beating, right? Don’t worry about it; you’re fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have other kids?” Vanya asked suspiciously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raised his brows, “None that I’m aware of. And if I do they’re probably older than both of us, considering they’d have been born in either the 20s, 40s, or 50s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes, laying against the couch’s armrest, shoving her feet onto his lap. “How does it feel, knowing that you’re possibly a father?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think any of the one-night stands in the Commission should qualify as anything to be jealous of. And also I actually did check for that kind of thing, before you get the idea that I wouldn’t.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya pouted at the mention of his time in the Commission, and he leaned over to kiss her cheek amusedly, “By all means, go ahead and be jealous, but it’s unproductive for you. I would rather die than be unfaithful, </span>
  <em>
    <span>especially </span>
  </em>
  <span>when little Number Twe-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop!” Vanya hissed, hovering her hand protectively over her stomach. “Don’t call them that. We’re not naming our child that, and we’re not naming it Number Thirty-Five either.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, Number Thirty-Five would just be ridiculous.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will cause the apocalypse again,” Vanya threatened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That threat loses all pizazz when you used it last month to force me to go to a wedding.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was Allison and Luther’s wedding! You had to be there!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Debatable.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were Luther’s best man!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re causing me deep distress when I’m pregnant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned at her, running his hand over her torso. “Well, now I feel bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed her nose, compromising, “We’ll name it whatever you want. But the middle name </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> be Twelve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our child is going to hate you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, it will be a nickname. But that’s as far as I’ll compromise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You caved way too easily on that. Three out of ten.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>rate </span>
  </em>
  <span>my ability to argue with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and I’ll do it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five laughed, pulling her onto his lap and laying back on the couch, stroking her hair. “Do you worry about it? Us being parents?” The abrupt change in tone prompted her to assume that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>did but hadn’t mentioned it because he’d worried she hadn’t. “Neither of us had a great example on parenting, and I especially had an awful example with Reginald. If one were being generous enough to even call him a father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grace was alright,” Vanya mumbled. “I actually worry sometimes that I won’t be as good at the… domestic stuff as she was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>“</b>
  <span>Why?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m just not great at cooking and all that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grace was modeled after the ideals of the 1950s, Vanya. We’re going to raise our kid in the twenty-first century, and you’ll be a wonderful mother whether or not you can</span>
  <em>
    <span> bake.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still want my kid to have that kind of thing. I dunno… Grace was one of the better parts of our childhood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it,” he told her, hugging her closer to him. “But I can assure you I’ll be more involved with them than him with us, and I can also assure you that they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>going to have anything close to the experience we had as children.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you’ll be a good dad,” she reassured. “I worry more for myself than you, honestly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyebrows knit together, “Vanya, you’ll be a wonderful mother. And if something like baking is that important to you, we’ll learn how to do it. Together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you implying that you’d learn how to </span>
  <em>
    <span>bake </span>
  </em>
  <span>to ease my mind about motherhood?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah. I mean, how awful could it possibly turn out?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>Pretty awful, actually. </p><p>
  <span>Four months later, Five watched in abject horror at the gingerbread as it went into flames again, like it was trying to spite him for even suggesting he could learn to bake. Vanya had her head in her hands, looking like she might start vomiting like she had in the first trimester. Five grabbed the fire extinguisher quickly, finally ending the gingerbread house fire. A mental image of a bunch of gingerbread men in firefighter gear came to mind, which he would have said aloud to Vanya if she didn’t look so dejected at their inability to cook. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d started with easy things, then graduated to easi</span>
  <em>
    <span>er</span>
  </em>
  <span> things. The gingerbread house was a result of their own hubris, thinking that they could go to medium so quickly. And like Icarus flying too close to the sun, they’d burned up. Or, well, their gingerbread house burned up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It could be salvageable,” Five said. “Certainly not the worst thing I’ll ever eat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You once told me that you found mystery roadkill in the apocalypse and ate it. When it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>decomposing.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, exactly! A scorched gingerbread house would taste delicious by comparison!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to cry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five frowned, patting her head to console her. “We’ll ask Grace if we have to. And if all else fails, I can program her to be a good babysitter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure her current programming would make her enjoy being a grandmother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That works too, but the point of the matter is, we’re not at fault here. In fact, it’s fucking Sally from </span>
  <em>
    <span>sallysbakingaddiction.com. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Her and her fucking ‘the only rule to making gingerbread houses is to have fun!’ commentary is what messed me up so much in the first place.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you blaming a blogger for us being terrible parents?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>terrible parents for this. Even if we were, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>would </span>
  </em>
  <span>be Sally’s fault. She’s better at least than the bastards at </span>
  <em>
    <span>theflavorbender.com, </span>
  </em>
  <span>with their </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘there’s something exciting and quintessentially Christmassy about decorating gingerbread houses with kids and all the people you love!’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>bullshit, but still.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vanya gingerly plucked a gumdrop from a bowl, nibbling on it before making a disgusted face and spitting it out into a napkin. “Do all of them taste that disgusting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, I don’t say no to most foods, but gumdrops are deplorable, so I’d say yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do we even have them if they’re so gross?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fucking Sally from </span>
  <em>
    <span>sallysbakingaddiction</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, yeah, I agree with you honestly. If she even hinted that gumdrops were okay indirectly, she’s a bad person. If she was neutral on the side of gumdrops, she has already chosen the wrong side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll leave her angry comments, don’t you worry,” Five assured her, kissing her cheek. He pressed his hand to the tiny baby bump, running his hand over it reverently. In just a short amount of time, they would be parents, and he couldn’t help but feel pride at the fact that they’d be the best they could at it to spite Reginald. “And we’ll have Grace teach us properly next time.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading!!! Happy day 2 of fic-mas!!!💕</p></blockquote></div></div>
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